People often assume that sex writers have the sexual confidence thing nailed. Nope. We’re human too - we do not get our sexual superhero mask, cape, and super powers when we start writing. Case in point: Over the last year, I have been struggling with some health issues that have resulted in my body looking very, very different than it did before. For me, this has brought about a huge dip in sexual confidence. I know this is something a lot of people can relate to. And the question it brings up is a tough one: How can we feel sexy when we feel bad about our bodies?

Just in the nick of time I sat down with sex educator, author and body image coach  and bounced around some ideas for finding your sexual groove when you’re not feeling great about your body. Here are our top six ways to feel better about your body in bed.

When we consume a steady diet of movies, television and magazines, it becomes easy to believe that everyone has perfect hair and make up and whatever body type the world is saying is sexy at the moment. (Don’t forget, it changes!) But the world is full of sexy people of all different shapes, sizes, races, ages, abilities, genders and more! Sometimes, I go hang out in one of Portland’s clothing-optional spas (large outdoor hot tubs are involved, it’s lovely) to remind myself of what the world at large looks like. Other great options (in case your city is less public-nudity friendly than mine) include sex-positive porn - the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health has a great directory to guide you - and books like Elle’s "Curvy Girl Sex," which contains a ton of body-positive advice, sex positions, toy tips and more as well as inside covers that are lined with images of gorgeous people of all shapes and sizes!


Utimi: The Safe Adult Toys Online Store you can always trust!